Pre-Mature Labor.

My contractions have not stopped. I have been prescribed breathane to diminish my contractions, although he did say I could still have them but they would less rhythmic. Which is the category I fall into. It also makes me feel like POO. To fill you in on last week, Sunday I thought my water broke so I went to L&D where they told me it didn't. I was a emotional wreck I didn't understand how I could have gotten that wrong. I had a appt the next morning at 9  where I told the Dr I was confused and I was still leaking whatever it was that had happened then. So he decided to do the same test since "there has been something werid about those sticks lately". Where the test indicated I was leaking amionic fluid, and she was measuring small. He took me into the US room and fastly looked & said it looked like i was low, but wanted a bio-physical ultrasound done by a tech. Then he checked my cervix where we learned my cervix is very short & very soft. He could feel  her head thru the thin layer!!! He classified me as now offically in "pre-mature labor". I JUST got the results back about my bio-physical, and my fluid is low, but not alarming. And no long measuring small, her head was just so low I was measuring small when he did it on my tummy. He gives me about 2 weeks til I go into active labor :/ she weight 3 lbs 2oz. which scares me because at my hospital any baby under 5 automatically goes into the NICU. Which is what we want to avoid. I am torn between the amount of fear and joy that I am going to meet her all at once. With the recent events all in the past week, we got our maternity pictures done before it was to late & had my babyshower (pictures to come) But here are some of my maternity pictures by the lovely Jess at J3Designz ENJOY! & continue to keep me & kennedy in your prayers & thoughts.

This is my one of my favs!

MY FAV!

I was so exited when I saw this one, it is lyrics to my favortie song "capri" by colbie caillat

xoxo, Tara

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labor

For the past 23 hrs I have been have 5-6 contractions a hour! Which according to my dr over 5 is labor, maybe not full blown but is. I go in first thing in the morning to check my cervix, if my water doesn't break by then he said! I'm so physically drained. As much as I want her in as long as possible I don't no how much I can take of all these contractions. They may start me on breathane (sp?) Tomorrow morning to stop the contractions depending on how things are going! Will update as soon as I can! In the meantime, prayers for jus a bit of comfort would be well appreciated!

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entering FREAK OUT MODE.

Tuesday I lost my mucus plug, not even 3 mins later i was having contractions about 10 mins apart. Dr my dr still did not want to see me because people can lose their plug and go into labor several weeks later & I had a apt Thursday. Yesterday only a few contractions I thought they had subsided. Today I went into for my apt. he wanted to check to see if i was dilated just to make sure I wasn't going into anything pre-maturely. And he gets quite and explains he cant even feel my cervix because the babies head is down so far. He explains to me, that i will be given a steriod shot to help mature her lungs and another tomorrow to help boost it. & calmly says I would give your water about 1-2 weeks before it breaks. And if it doesnt we will do a ultrasound to see how she is (he doesnt think she is growing properly) and if she isnt we will do a c-section because she will be better outside my tummy.

He says the steriods should mess up my contraction but doesnt want to anything dramstic because he knew she was going to come early and we should let nature do its "thing". His calmness makes me want to kick him in the head. So we wait. 

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contractions :/

Well, my weekend was full of contractions & a few this week so far! Very scary. Since they are not close enough together my dr wants to see my next week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Which honestly freaks me out! He said he doesn't want to mess around "down there" and stir up the membranes that will make me go into labor? But if I get more, more close together go straight to Labor & delivery! Im not ready for her to come yet :S im so scared of her being in the NICU it is all i dream/nightmare about. Last night it seemed so real I woke up & my first thought was to hurry & get dressed to go to the hospital! I have only had 2 today, which put me at ease.

On a less frantic note, we moved up my baby shower date because of all this & dr has "money" on her coming early. So we spent a day registering while i was having contraction, it was actually kinda funny. Brandon litterly scanned everything that said dad & daddy on it, it was adorable. I will leave you wish this weeks bump picture!

xoxo, Tara

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Update & a little venting.

How Far Along: 26-28 weeks. I think im going to stick with less of them all. They i dont get as anxious. I just wish they would give me one day & stick with it!

How Big is The Baby:  as big as a eggplant! :)

Total Weight Gain: I am just going to leave this out until I actually gain something. 

Maternity Clothes:  Still just my short; i want to get some shirts tho. My shirts are getting to short.

Sleep:  sleep?? ! I get up every few hours with her punching or kicking or something. Dr said she is actually already creating a sleeping schedule right now, so Im getting my practice. Luckily, Ive never been on to need sleep or like it really. So you can find me moping the kitchen floor at 4 in the morning until she goes to sleep and stopps kicking haha

Gender: GIRLL! :)

Movement: All the time! You can see it on the outside now, so creepy but so cool!

Food Cravings: nothing really.

What I Miss: nothing right now, my back has been so much better. So, I really just miss the more frequent dr visits! :(

What I'm looking forward to: hearing her heartbeat again, after our last scare I just crave it. & a girl I know not very close with just friendly acquaintance, she just had her baby at 36 weeks and he was still born. She had not felt him in 24 hrs (like i had) and there was a knot in the cord, and had to go thru labor and everything. I just can not imagine getting that far and that happening. I almost want to get a doppler because of it

Milestones:  She responds the the flashlight on my tummy now :)

Is it selfish that I want to be bigger? No one can tell I am pregnant. & it makes me so depressed. I know I should just be happy I am pregnant and gotten this far. I just wish I could show it off ya know? With the types of shirts I wear you can not tell what so ever I am pregnant, If i am at home wearing a tighter shirt for cleaning you can, but looks like a beer belly. Is it sad I find myself pushing out my stomach and leaning backward in public just to show a little? Brandon laughs at me and assures me that I will "pop" soon. And I hate the people that say you are so lucky I hated having a belly or once you get it you will hate it. NO NO NO, I want it all. BLAHH.

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back in action.

Well our internet is up and working again..crossed fingers that it will stay that way! So I will be able to keep everyone updates more! So where to start!

How Far Along: Last appt they said 27 weeks which was last thursday. They keep jumping on me and its driving me insane!

How Big is The Baby: She is 14in and is supposed to be around 2 lbs but she def isn't :(

Total Weight Gain: WELL here is me being angry. As you read my last update, this has been a struggle. I thought for sure I had gained a good 7-10 lbs for Thursday and Dr would be so thrilled. Well I get there...nothing. Im back to my orginal weight pre-baby. I lost about 10 lbs when I was in the hospital for so long and so sick, I gained that back. But havent gained a ounce since. So Dr said I HAVE to gain 5 lbs before my next visit or we will have to figure something out. I dont know what that would be, beings I eat so much. Does anyone know what he would do medically to help me gain weight?

Maternity Clothes: Still just my shorts. I need to get some maternity yoga pants for fall and maybe some jeans if I grow out of my pre-baby jeans with a be-band. 

Gender: GIRL :)

Movement: I am HAPPY HAPPY to report she is back to her normal kickin self :) its so werid not only feeling her move, but seeing it. Kinda creepy, so so amazing! I always say to Brandon "thats our baby! we made this" it puts us both in awe all the time. Her movement& Brandons face/smile dissolves all of our heartache.

Food Cravings: Well last Friday, I HAD to have Fazzolis. Like I HAD to have it so we made the 20 min drive to the city south of us so I could have some breadsticks :)...it was worth it! 

What I Miss: My hips not hurting and back. (not complaining) just saying :)

What I'm looking forward to: getting the rest of her room put together :)

Milestones: If I go into pre-term labor (which heaven forbid I dont but I know she will come at the end of October, I just know.) she is past 24 weeks; and will have a struggle but better chance of making it.






So, did you catch on that I said "the rest of her room"??? :))) YES, we started it. Just paint but still. I CAN NOT BELIEVE we are to this point. I don't know how many time we said while painting, we are painting OUR daughters room. It is so surreal. Ready to seeee???? :)

TADA!!! I did not want ANY pink. So, I went with purple. Although the lighter purple def looks pink but oh well. I love it. It crazy to dream of a nursery for so long, and then to do it in real life! Also, sorry for the poor quality, cellphone. The crib was a gift from our awesome neighbors. They were soooo excited to get it to us. Its not the one i want...at all. But I don't know how not to use it. It really is a perfectly nice new crib. But, I dont know. Brandon says its free, we will keep it and it is new. So we will see. We put it up for my niece while she stayed with us for a week and she seemed to like it. What would you guys do?




Ok, ladies that our about as far along or same as me; how does something not weighting much KILL my back. Litterly, I am in tears some time with back and hip pain! It amazes me. Thankfully my husband is THEEE back massager. And has plently massages to give :) And I am SOO ready for fall to be here! Im over the heat and would love just a little breeze! I swear in the AC!


Here are some recent buys I got Kennedy that I HAD to share 

I went to hobby lobby where they had the supplies to make these! I just got the two for now. But will get a thousands more! I love that you can inter-change the flowers. But I need to get more of the headbands, I have lots more but no pictures.

and tell me this isnt the cutest ever??

Baby Bump pictures:

and is it wrong that i want to be bigger?? I look so small compared to other people. And if i hear one day you will wake up and you will just "pop" or it will happen then you will hate it. NO! I want it now, and I wont hate it. I don't even look pregnant, just beer-guttin it :(

Ok, I know this post was a little all over the place but, next time I wont have to catch up a buncha weeks all in one post. I shall bum-bard you with my over-posting all over again :)

xoxo,

Tara

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belly laughs.

So I feel like I have been on baby book overflow. But for those of you expecting; this is a MUST read. Just like the title, you will get your "belly laughs".  I LOVED it, not to mention read it in 45 mins! I didn't think I was a Jenny McCarthy fan, but the way she tells how pregnancy is. And her stories, I know if your pregnant you will relate to one of the hilariously embarrassing stories and laugh your butt off. :)

xoxo, Tara

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ive been a bad blogger.

Well as to my last post, ITS A GIRL!! Her name is Kennedy Leigh! :) I'll will try to catch you guys up as much as I can! Our internet has not been working so that's why I haven't been updating. Today, we had quite a scare. This has been the third day I have not felt any movement (this is alarming being this lil girl kicks and punches the crap out of me constantly) and a preeclampsia  scare. I have cramps and contractions type things in my cervix with alot of back pain m and she had a low heart rate.Everything ended up being ok,  I need to de-stress and I have infection fighting cells on my cervix? I was pretty out of it and do not remember the logistics of medical terms, I just know everything is OK!

Next line of buisness; i will put up two bump pictures that I haven't uploaded yet so here we go :

17 weeks:

21 weeks, down in key west, fl :)

& 23 weekish. they are still bumping around on my due date! UGH!

and a survey:
How Far Along: 22-24 weeks
How Big is The Baby: 11 inchs long!! and just over a pound!

Total Weight Gain: 3 lbs. my dr is furious. but im eating us out of house and home, so I dont understand, and dont know what to do about it. 

Maternity Clothes: Just a pair of shorts. I fit into my pant with the hairband trick & maybe a be-band. and all my shirts still fit, just real snug in the boob area haha

Sleep: She wakes me up 543 on the dot every morning, but I generally sleep thru the night. I do have to have a pillow between my legs tho.

Gender: BABY GIRL! :)))

Movement:  Well not the last few days. but other than that allll the time! i love when she moves her hand & you can see her do it on the outside. Brandon face makes it so much better, he lights up with so much love.

Food Cravings: none except for, last week i made brandon go get me deans chip dip and ruffles at 2 in the morning..whoops :)

What I Miss: her kicking at the moment :(

What I'm looking forward to: watching her grow, and my belly :)

Milestones: that we found out the gender :)


I will try to update as much as I can I promise! 


xoxo, Tara

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ITS A...

GIRL!!!!!



Will post more later when not on blackberry!!! :))

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17 weeks!

How Far Along: 17 although the dr is bouncing between 16-18

How Big is The Baby: as big a avacado to a onion!

Total Weight Gain: still losing, will be at the dr's tomorrow though!

Maternity Clothes: bought my first pair of shorts, which i was soo excitied about. like i said before im not big at all :( when i see other preggo mamas fb week by week pictures im as big as they are at lik 8 weeks, BOO! but never the less my shorts are just to much pressure on my pelvis so i bought a pair & fell in love, SOO COMFORTABLE :)

Stretch Marks: none new! and those a fading!

Sleep: i wake up on the dot at 4:15 every morning, no matter when i fall asleep! i can only sleep on left side which actually good, they say it is better for you. but sleep has gotten quite uncomfortable, thinking i may get a pillow soon, who knows.

Movement: yesss & im still loving it! im afraid i will burst of joy everytime!

Food Cravings: nothing really! just strawberries & such

What I Miss: well to be honest although i am soooo happy that im not sick anymore, i freak out a little since im not & not having my weekly appts! but i know i just need to relax!

What I’m Looking Forward To: my appt got moved to tomorrow so hoping by around 230 we can find out the sex, if there is a US tech open, they have been crazy busy! so cross your fingers!

Milestones: no puking :)

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update!

How Far Along: 16 weeks! well dr is bouncing from 15-16!

How Big is The Baby: as big a avacado

Total Weight Gain: I have only lost weight, so far about 10 lbs, doctor says it isnt a concern yet  but maybe depending on my weight at the next appt

Maternity Clothes: none, i wore alot of babydoll tops pre-baby bump, so i still can wear them, just with my pants with a maternity band, although i hate it. im still to small to wear maternity pants/shorts so it frustrating.

Stretch Marks: well im a lotion FREAK! so none on my tummy. But i had a flat, extreme flat tush, and all of a sudden i have one now, so under my tush i do :(

Sleep: i sleep so so much! but at night it is getting to be a bit uncomfortable.

Movement: yesss! & i love it! i get a kick back whenever i sneeze or i lay a certain way. Only can be felt on the inside tho! :)

Food Cravings: mostly fruit & veggies! :) good craving huh? & apple juice

What I Miss: not a thing! :) well my weekly appts, i went to everyother. now im up to 4 weeks!! i miss seeing my baby every week! :(

What I’m Looking Forward To: i have a appt on the 14th & we are gonna try to figure out the sex! they thought for sure it was a boy my last appt but it was just the cord between babys legs :)

Milestones: feeling  baby! :)

from my appt 2 weeks ago! 

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im back!

Well! its been a few weeks since I posted. Let me explain. The last few weeks I have been in the hospital. Why you ask? Well, at first when the morning sickness started I was thrilled. But, then I didn't stop. & for those of whom are shaking there head, no I am not complaining. I tried everything, change of diet,ginger,mommy pops. I mean I couldnt even swallow my own spit with out throwing it up! Hyperemesis. Is what they call it. In an hour, I was puking 20+ times. I had no skin on my lips, due to puking up so much acid. I was losing so much weight & getting cramps from being extremely dehydrated. So the Dr, admitted me. After going back and fourth from home to the hospital. he decided that home care would be better for me. So, I had a pump just like a diabetic pump, full of zolphran ( im alergic to fenergan, & had to much reglan in the hospital) and a IV. Which by the way is awful to try to get when you veins are not full of like anything. So, since i was so dry the could rarely get a IV in, so my arms & hands are FULL of bruises. UGH.


So, yesterday I took out my pump. My sites were getting infected and hurt so bad I couldn't walk. Which by the way I rarely do, I went several days without going to the bathroom. Today, is my second day without it. I feel great today, of course I go sick once, but that is a improvement. The meds just keep me down & would drain me of energy not that I had any from getting sick, but i think it effected me the wrong way.


ANYWAY, today I am 10 weeks, i need to change my ticker up there. & the baby is growing so fast! You can see babies head and little nose. It takes my breath away every time. I will have new U/S pics up soon. I have another appt this week. I am back to every week visits, which is nerve racking.


So the verdict: momma=sick,bruised, crazy skinny, hungry, hormonal but feeling lots better today baby=GREat, & growing rapidly :)

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almost 7 weeks! can you believe it? I can't.

it went from a pea-to a peanut

i will most  more later when i can stay at the computer long enough without having to run & puke.

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i remember

when I first starting getting morning sickness, I said to Brandon "I have never been so happy to puke before in my life" since my last MC I had not gotten to that point. Yeah, I'm re-thinking that statement. I think morning sickness will be the death of me today :( On top of that, Brandon has it to. He leaves before I get up, & will call me, "you feel sick?" i say "yes, its awful" he replies "me too." bless his heart. I'm not complaining, just my stomach & acid burned throat is. I still would not change it for the world.

On a side note, I do not know if I have mentioned I am a photographer, & had a awesome Easter session last week & thought I would share the link to my photography blog, so check it out let me know what you think of my work, HERE.

Next  ultrasound tomorrow, pray we can hear the heartbeat so I do not die of stress. I am 6w3d today! Have a good hump day!!

x's&oh's

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i didn't know

my own stregnth. 

yesterday I got my second quants done.Then, late last night I started bleeding. I called the doctor, & he told me he was sorry but I was miscarring. I cried, & cried. I was done. I was never doing to get pregnant agian I could not bare the pain. I finally fell asleep from exhaustion emotionally & then this afternoon, my cell phone rang, it was the hosptial I thought what now? It was my Dr, my number sky rocketed, & my bleeding was just from over doing it (helllooo bed rest) & they he said it to me "I am so happy to finally tell you, you are pregnant! lets take this one to term" I couldn't belive it after all that pain the night before, today I can say I AM PREGANT! Although, I'm not very confident in saying it!

My second ultra sound is this Thursday (have I mentioned that I love this new Dr, does free ultrasounds??).

& I wanted to thank all of you for being there for me even if it was send "baby dust" or such encouraging words, all of your crossed fingers are worked!!

I wanted to share with you one of my favortie songs, I listened to it agian today & it had a whole new meaning here are the lyrics:

Lost touch with my soul
I had no where to turn
I had no where to go
Lost sight of my dream,
Thought it would be the end of me
I thought I’d never make it through
I had no hope to hold on to,
I thought I would break

I didn’t know my own strength
And I crashed down, and I tumbled
But I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
I didn’t know my own strength
Survived my darkest hour
My faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up
Hold my head up high
I was not built to break
I didn’t know my own strength

Found hope in my heart,
I found the light to life
My way out of the dark
Found all that I need
Here inside of me
I thought I’d never find my way
I thought I’d never lift that weight
I thought I would break

There were so many times I
Wondered how I’d get through the night I
Thought took all I could take

Its by Whitney Houston. Hopefully you enjoy the song to. 

Everyone had a wonderful Easter!!

Hoppy Easter! (haha get it?)

x's&oh's

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a wonderful surprise

Today I got the mail; look through, but nothing was for me. Had had gotten in on the way to work & put it on seat next to me. After a terrible terrible day of work of physical pain & thinking entirely to much, I was on my way home and on the verge of a emotional breakdown when in the mist of all of the mail, there was a small envelope addressed me to me! I knew as soon as I saw it I knew what it was. And sure enough I open the card that says : "Tara- I hope this provides you with some comfort you need. I loved making it and being a part of your babies lives. They are special spirits! Best of luck in your journey! Love, Courtney" inside was what i thought was a bracelet but a necklace with both of my angels birthstones the necklace lays just above my heart. Perfect.

For those who are not following "Baby Hungry" Courtney offered to make bracelets or lost babies token with birthstones of losses for women to help remember them & for some comfort. I can not thank her enough for my gift. I means so so much & came at just the right time. I know have a daily reminder of my angels.

this picture is awful because it was taken with my cellphone, and my camera was dead. So bare with me with the quality.  Here is the card (didnt she make it so so cute??) & my amazing necklace. Again, thank you so so much you are more wonderful than you know, & many blessing are being sent your way.

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4 thousand something.

The doctor called today, and said he wanted to call me to inform me my level was low, low 4 thousands to be exact. He said that could be just because its a early pregnancy but according to my ultrasound im 5 weeks, or something is "wrong". So, Im just confused. I looked up what it should be & one website said 5 weeks LMP: 18 - 7,340 mIU/ml  So, at least I'm not 18??? I am trying to stay postive, but my Dr is not making that too terribly easy for me. I guess it lies in the hands of tomorrow to see if it has doubled. 

I don't think I can handle it not doubling. No, I know I can't. It seems like 5 billion people in my subdivison are having garage sales & all of them have a crib or a pack & play on their drive way staring at me as I drive by. & Every pregnant women in my little town is at those garage sales. 

well, I am going to try to go enjoy this day & nice weather before I work a few hours this afternoon. Hope however you go about your day, it goes well!

x's&oh's

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5w5d

Well.
Today my appt got moved from Thursday, to Today. I got my US & when going about it, she points out the cyst on my ovary which was causing all my pain but was uh,normal apparently. But says nothing about my baby. Of course I started bawling, my mom was with me because Brandon couldn't get off work with such short notice.She then understands why I am, & says "I guess I should have showed you this first." & there it was my baby eh well, yolk sac. ha But no heart beat, could not see it or hear it. The doctor had to run to the hospital so he left his assistant to tell me about my ultrasound and what not. They claim I am 5w5d (according to my calendar I should be farther along) but I don't think that is right, anyways she says the doctor says everything looks ok, & I don't need blood work. I was confused. But was happy with the good news that everything was a-ok.

Then I get to work, my phone is going off the hook with calls from my Dr. They let me leave work early, & I call. Apparently, the assistant was wrong had everything backwards. Things weren't measuring up, &do not look "up to par" so I needed to get bloodwork. grr.

So, I just got done getting pricked, hopefully I get the results by the end of the day, & then hope they have doubled in 48 hrs. I think after I get it back I can actually say "I'm pregnant".

According my sac (of course this will differ once we can see a baby, I'm lookin at November 28th a Thanksgiving baby! lordwilling)

my bean.

x's&oh's

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March For Babies!

Every day, thousands of babies are born too soon, too small and often very sick. Our team is walking in March for Babies because we want to do something about this. I know you care, too. That's why I'm asking you to join us. It's easy: just click the join this team button.

If you can't walk with us, please help by donating to our team. By clicking HERE. Thank you for helping us give all babies a healthy start!

The mission of March of Dimes is to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth and infant mortality.

We are walking for prematurity & it says infant loss, but also miscarriages; babies are babies.

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Thursday.

Thursday is the moment of truth. I have an appt at 2 o'clock!To get all my tests done. pray for me!

not the best picture but oh well, im about 14 dpo.

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distracting post.

So, after I was emailing someone that was asking about one of my dogs, I realized I have never said a word about them! I first should tell you my dogs are my life. Its kind of pathetic, actually. After not working for a year, I spent every hour with them & they are def my lil furry children, & have helped me through alot! So, I will introduce you to my smiles. No matter that I'm going through they make me smile :)

Meet.. 

Hurley

He is my oldest dog, who is now 6. He is a teacup yorkie that has "lil-man syndrome". If your not fimilar with this, it means this dog is about ehh 3 inches of the ground & weights a good 3lbs. & thinks he is a great dane. He rules the roost, & sets all the other dogs straight. If they are barking, or won't get in the cage, he will bite them or round them  up to get them to go in the cage. He is my first little baby, but since he is getting old he generally just sleeps, chases the windshield wipers in the car & barks.....CONSTANTLY!

Bentley

He was the best birthday present I have ever recieved! But, he wont stop growing. I want him to go to back to the little puppy I had before (the first picture). Bentley, is a shi-tzu. I just know he has begal in him tho, he thinks he is a hunting dog & frequently get lost when not on a leash since he starts sniffin & looks up & does not know where he is! So, unlike the other dogs he has to be on a leash which drives him bonkers. He is almost 2 years old & just learned to bark & hasn't gotten down the whole growling thing yet, which is hilarous. HA he was so spoiled when he was younger he never had to. He also is ahem, "fond" of this giant bunny he has, which he um "dances" (what we tell my nieces) with the bunny for up to 2 hours straight a day. haha He is the dog that will constantly make you laugh with all the silly stuff he does.

Amara

I got Amara, a week after my first miscarriage last year on Easter. I had, had dream that my dad had bought me a Pit Bull, & went over to my MIL's and was talking about this dream. She gets this huge smile on her face & said the Pit next door had puppies! I couldn't believe it, I had no idea. So I went over & picked up Amara right away, she was the runt, & you could tell was just a lil sick looking thing. At that moment I fell in love. We of course were not planning on a third dog, but Brandon saw my attachment, and after I left her, he surprised me with taking her home that day. Amara means strength in African. & that is what she was for me when i was mourning. Today, she is still a HUGE baby that thinks she is still 5lbs, she is 57 lbs HA. Did  I meant she snores, louder than a 7 ton man? She is not your "average' pit bull. & people judge her as soon as they hear pit bull,  if you are one of those people, shame on you. Im a firm believer in punish the deed, not the breed. She would never hurt a fly, that & she isn't awake long enough to be a "viscous" creature as the public as portrayed of her breed. I am now a spokesperson for BSL & helping take the status quo away from pitbulls.

So, now you have met my smiles. Yes, I'm quite a dog lady. But, I wouldnt change it for the world :)

x's & oh's

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Fear.

Well, I didn't take a test today, Brandon says I'm being a compulsive "pee-r" and apparently" i want to pee on everything" haha. But, I get my package of 10 in the mail tomorrow from my fave site, so POAS in t-minus 8 hours give or take. So...

Today, I am terrified, with not POAS today, my fears multiply. I have had alot of pain in my lower stomach, & was on my feet today for my first day at the pharmacy. This make me nervous. Breathe, calm. Ok. That is so much easier to type then act that out. Everyone keeps saying stay positive & it isn't in my hands yada yada. BLAH!

Happier note, I LOVE ICLW! I want to personally thank all of you for the extraordinary upbeat & truly amazing comments you guys are getting me through this rough patch. With out all of you, Britney and of course Brandon. I would be a WRECk. From the bottom of my heart thank you! Now, we shall wait for the mail, & pray for a darker lineee!!!

p.s.
am I the only one that 16 & pregnant makes you want to vom?

x's & oh's

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ICLW 1st timer!!

Good morning to all you ICLW's & regular fololwers!
This is my first time doing ICLW, & I'm excited for you all to read some of my journey! I figure I got all of you involved with this, I should clue you in. Since, I have not told anyone else really, maybe thinking I will jinx it, I do not know. Anyways, yesterday my line did indeed get darker, but still faint at about 9-10 DPO. & then I POAS this morning & got a BFP on a cheap-o. So many things are going through my mind, its amazing how you can be torn from amazingly unbelievably excited, to also being mortified. I think it stinks that after having one or more MC's it takes about from that initial joy. Anyway, I shall test the rest of the week, & sit, wait, wish, & pray! Anyone got a a remedy to make this one a sticky bean??? :p

Pictures when I have a more confident BFP.

The weather is cold this morning, that make me quite sad. I'm hoping it will warm up very soon. This coldness does nothing for my arthritis when it is sunny & warm, then the next day it is cold with the change of flurries! hmmph. Anyway, however you go about your day, I'm hoping you enjoy it & it is wonderful for you! :)

x's & oh's

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POAS!

not what we were expecting i thought this cycle would to just go onto the other. im trying so hard not to get my hopes up.we will see if it gets darker within the next day or so. prayer i need prayer.

x's & oh's

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mini-vaca!

As the week comes to a end, AMEN TGIF! Who else went to Walmart at mid-night to get New Moon??  I just got home from my mini- vaca from Kentucky! While i was there I got "blog stalk" if you will a little bit more after Dr. F had told me that message boards and what not tend to help alot of women, I found blogs. I was excited yet sad that other women were gong through the same things I was & pouring their hearts out for people like me to read. These women I barely know got me through the past week or so, and for that, I thank you. Other than lifting my spirits I also learned so so much. So, with expecting AF any hour now, I'm for once hopeful this cycle that the end result could be a BFP with some of the stuff I have learned!

Now, to the stuff you wanna hear ;)

I had such a blast visiting everyone in Kentucky! My mini-vaca started with my cousin Tammy's big 4-0 birthday party, her surprise gift you ask? ME! haha, she was so surprised & just so excited to see each other!!

I was staying with my Aunt, & so excited to hang out with my younger cousin Michael for a week, it had been to long! Here are some snap shots of my week; more to come later, my camera died & I switched to the good ol BB & having a difficult time with my email server :S anyway ENJOY! :)

The was Tammy's cake, though off my diet, was DEE-LISH! shh don't tell I had a slice ;)

The birthday girl, mid-blow! hehe ;) Wonder what she wished for?!

Aunt Marlene, with Alex, Tammy & her families new puppy, I get so excited when people add a shi-tzu into their family  because I know how much I love mine :)

My younger cousin Ashley & 2nd Cousin Kimberly! :)

My Aunt, Tammy's Mom made candy bar covers that said, "Lordy, Lordy, Tammy's Forty" too cute!

Sleepy Donnie!  hahaha

Miss Emily, the last time I actually got to spend some time with this girly, she was in diapers!!

Hoping everyone has a wonderful weekend :) & to my family thank you so so much for letting me come stay with you guys to get away! & for the mr. gaddy's ;) 

& to my parents and little sister enjoy Florida, I will be here jealous.

p.s.

there is etsy store (my fav place) & the Little Pink Dollhouse is having a giveaway! Def check her out! :) its super cute stuff!

x's & oh's

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hope for the hopeless.

could it be?

is it sad i take superficial things like this as hope?

either way it put a smile on my face :)

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greetings from louis-vile,louie-ville,lo-ul-love

Welp, after a rough few weeks in the life of Tara, I deicded while my Aunt Marlene was in town I would go back with her to a dear place in my heart, Louisvile, KY! I am going to be here for a week-if i can stand to be away from the dogs, oh & brandon ;) that long! So, far it has been amazing to see everyone!
We had a birthday party for Tammy (my cousin) at Aunt Renee's yesterday where i got to suprise her! Which i LOVED I love my time with her & Donnie & the kidd-os! (pictures will be up when i get back to Indiana)! So, ill just be blogging here & there about my trip!! I will be enjoying my time with Michael, Ashley & the rest of the Aldrich bunch, & im throughly excited! :)

For now, lets pray for some warmer weather, sunshine, & relaxation!
& everyone have a blessed week! :)

x's & oh's!

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new bathroom!

so we took on a weekend on project of our downstairs bathroom

here are the before & afters

i took the after pictures before it was all the way painted so ignore the paint behind the toilet! :)

Before:

After:

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