4th of July weekend!

5:31 PM
Welp, taking a blog break for the weekend!
Friday I have a session of cute 3 month old, Saturday a wedding {of a old friend which will be fun to photog}then Sunday we are having people over & the 4th well it will hopefully just be a day with my little family.
Of course I will still be on twitter :) 
Have a awesome 4th not matter how you spend!
& now...
a picture of my cute baby. 
She says "Happy 4th of July" :)
think she is cute too?
then click below & vote by clicking the owl on the left :)
thanks in advance friends!
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things they don't tell you v.2

9:13 PM
Thank god for girlfriends! How would you live without them? 
They're the first people I call after I am done watching some skanky reality show to dish about all the sluts making out with whomever.
I love it. 
And, of course those wild nights out.
 I have a few classic memories of us staggering down a road 
& peeing in someones alley. 
I thought for sure my friendly chick-pack would always be united and friend til the end. 
Even tho some of use eventually got married, we still remained close. 
In fact, the married ones would live vicariously thru the single ones. 
We'd listen to stories about some new boyfriend crooked penis & love it!
Let me start by telling you this... once you become a mom, anyone who is still single in your life & without kids will think you are the most boring person to talk to.
You might not know this because she will fake yo uout by smiling & nodding.
But she honestly doesn't give a shit about your babys new tooth.
What she really doing is thinking about how shes going to get her purse back from the hairy, creepy guy she slept with last night.
So you slowly stop getting as many calls from your single friends, and you start to notice your talking every day to your friends who have babies {or bloggy friends}
It's really bizarre to watch it happen because you thought your clique was unbreakable.
But your not there anymore when your girlfriend calls drunk from a bar at 3 AM 
nor do you want anything do with that anymore.
You'd rather clean up your babies puke then your girlfriends.
So you take the sad transition of moving on from your wild friends and growing closer to the ones who just bought really cute diaper bags.

So just you know that the whole changing of girlfriends thing is kind of normal.
It happens to all of use, and I can tell you that new mommies I ve met who have joined my mommy circle far outweigh the drunken girlfriend who can't remember what bar they left their underwear in....
you'll see!
For V.1 go HERE!

we are at a ridiculous number
a little vote!
Two clicks!

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wordless wednesday

8:07 PM

waking up.

9:18 PM

Have you ever watched your baby sleep? If you like most of the momma population you spent quite a big amount of time doing this while they are "babies"..newborns..few weeks old. 
Now that naps are shorter, I find myself checking facebook, catching up on my google reader, reading my book for the week. But, not today.
Today, I watched this amazing miracle God gave me sleep.
I sat in her room when my legs got tired & tidied up her already clean room.
Here was this beautiful little girl just sleeping.
She knows no malice, or wrong on the world.
Knows nothing of Casey Anthony or why Lindsay Lohan is jail this time.
She knows of her Momma,da-da & her puppies.
Her world is broading to different things.
Learning how things work, standing, walking & feeding herself.
But one thing that is constant, is that she will always wake up to her momma {or da-da}

I don't know why I am going thru the things I am going thru right now.
What I do know God did give me this miracle.
& how lucky must I be to be the center of this beautiful girls little world.


10:57 PM
can we just take a second.
for me to get some things of my chest
August is vastly approaching
what does this mean?
August is the cut off month, that the dr recommended we no longer try
my chances of birth at 14-24 weeks rises significantly
im trying to stay positive, as I have said over & over
my months are all blurred together by a few 4 days a month.
AF, the 16th {kennedy turning a month older}, when I ovulate & testing
I know this is the only first cycle with Clomid
but I don't feel like it worked. 
no I know it didn't.
Im discouraged
I am sad
& with each pregnancy around me
I grow more angry.

I feel defeated.
my body has once again let me down.
I know I have Kennedy
& I thank God for that each & everyday.everyday.
but that longing.
will it ever go away?
will I feel like a failure, empty forever?
I can't take another negative. 
I can't. 
The amount of tension in my house during the 2ww is unreal.
I hate it.
Some people try for 10+  years
As I still here with my view obstructed by tears pouring down my cheeks
I realize
I can't do this.
Infertility wins.
You win.

do you see this???

4:48 PM

how could this be?!?!

the social network.

11:28 AM
I caved.
Go on "like" you know you want too :)
really go on...ill wait..

I will post daily pictures on there since I am horrible & didn't keep up with my 365 page!
& just general updates that are to small for a whole post, as well as notifying yall what I post! :)

Leave some love while your there..
cause you did press it...right? ;)

splish splash!

12:22 AM
Ok first is another from kennedys 6 months pictures I took of her..even tho she is 7 months
but hey ive been busy photogin' other peoples kids
this is why photog need to hire someone to do their own
on the the pool!

tv before 2?

11:46 AM

As always, I love getting emails asking why I do some of things I do with my parenting style; well if they are nice. I had a whole slew of emails after my 7 month post about Kennedy being TV free, well about 95%. 
I for one loved surfing blogs while pregnant & reading about different parenting styles, & do now!
I love learning about new things, & somethings I hadn't thought about doing.
So I am going to tackle my reasoning for no TV til 2 years old. 
I tried to do as much research as I could for you all.
{disclaimer, in no shape or form am I writing this to offend anyone that does let their child watch tv.}
I actually came to the conclusion in my second year of college 
{I was going for early childhood development}
& we did a whole chapter on children & TV
{American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no television viewing for children under age 2}
& I saw  pictures of a childs brain that ha watched tv til 2 & one that hadn't
I was shocked! 
There was so much that hadn't been developed!
It was alot of sensory & cognitive development was just not there.
Litterly Black holes where the other brain was so developed.

Next was my niece at 9 months she wouldn't play, she had no interest she would just sit in front of the television
no playing outside, no blocks, or books; just TV & she let you know it

At first when Kennedy was a newborn til 3 months it was actually a challenge to keep her from TV she would litterly turn her neck to watch TV when she was laying away from it on her boppy.
Now, she really isn't phased by it, which I think is from the lack of seeing it.
I have put her in front of it a couple of time in last several weeks while I was getting ready for sessions
she won't watch it, but will occasionally look up when there is a loud noise.

Now does this mean I have to give up my gross in the closet Teen Mom addiction, no.
I just turn Kennedy away from it, our TV is above the fireplace so it isn't hard.
Our alternative for her to TV is music, music is always playing in our house.


  • "TV exposure in infants has been associated with increased risk of obesity, attention problems, and decreased sleep quality," researcher Michael Rich, MD, MPH, director of the Center on Media and Child Health, says in the news release. "Parents need to understand that infants and toddlers do not learn or benefit in any way from viewing TV at an early age."
  • The good news is, infants and toddlers don’t need television to distract them. Humans raised children for 50,000 years before television sets and you can do it too. Your children can learn to entertain themselves or play with your supervision. 

    "When one-year olds are playing with a toy, they can explore it, poke at it, drop it," says Yale University Television Researcher Dorothy Singer. "They’re learning about space, about sound, and they’re developing sense of competence. Watching a TV show just doesn’t provide the same sensory experience." 
  • TV exposure in babies younger than 2 doesn't do any good, Schmidt and Christakis agree. But does that mean a few minutes in front of the tube will sentence a baby to remedial classes for the rest of his life? "What I tell parents is 'Ask yourself why you're having your baby watch TV,' " says Christakis. "If you absolutely need a break to take a shower or make dinner, then the risks are quite low. But if you are doing it because you think it's actually good for your child's brain, then you need to rethink that, because there is no evidence of benefit and certainly a risk of harm at high viewing levels."
            If you want to stimulate your baby's brain, he says, try simply playing with him. In a recent study, Christakis showed that basic activities like playing with blocks with an 18-month-old can improve his language skills six months later.
  • The researchers studied 329 children, aged 2 months to 48 months, and found that for each additional hour of television exposure, there was a decrease of 770 words (7 percent) heard from an adult by the children. The study also found that the more hours spent watching television, the fewer vocalizations infants made when adults talked to them.

What I am really getting to is, Do I think puting you baby in front of the TV here & there is bad for them NO. Or that a little do-do-dora is going to harm your baby's development, NO.
 What I am saying is in todays world our number one babysitter is the television, & we are leaving the TV up to what we should be doing. Don't forget about old-fashion books, toys, or just their hands & feet!

I hope this was informative & no offense was taken!

Infants & Television Information:

to you da-da-'s WAKE UP!

5:38 PM
The woman started crying.I didn't expect this, because, well, why would I? We were two adults, standing in a preschool auditorium, waiting for the year-end musical gala to begin, talking summer plans and Twitter and junk fiction and all things mindless parents talk at mindless events. Then -- tears.

"My husband," she said, "doesn't care." "Uh, about what?" I asked.The floodgates now open, she told me her husband works from home. But he never drops their daughter off at preschool. He never picks their daughter up at preschool. He never wakes up with their daughter, never puts her to bed, never takes her to a movie or a carnival or a ball game; never comes up with fun daddy-daughter activities. "All he worries about is golf," the mother said. "Sometimes he'll take her to the driving range for an hour. But that's it. ..."Two days later, by mere coincidence, a different mother cornered me. I was sitting in a pizzeria with my son, Emmett, and daughter, Casey, gnawing on a calzone.

The woman, another preschool regular who always seems to be dragging around her kids with the worn look of a chain gang inmate, glanced my way and muttered, "My husband would never do that." "Do what?" I asked."Be out alone with both of the kids at once," she said. "Never."

In case you are wondering, I am that dad. The one who works out of the house. The one who drives his kids to school, packs lunches and pushes swings and arranges play dates and attends teacher conferences and -- generally speaking -- frequently finds himself alone in brightly colored rooms filled with women and tykes.

Along with my wife (who, until recently, also worked from home), I wipe snot, clean poop, order time outs and say no -- Really, no! I'm being serious, no! -- to the damned ice cream man and his Satanic siren call. I know all of my kids' friends, and most of their tendencies (Ashley and Emily love dolls, Lucas only wants to talk about Derek Jeter, Tyler digs applesauce).

Hence, I have been sent here today, on behalf of the stay-at-home mothers of the world, to convey to my fellow pops a message of love and hope in this lead-up to Father's Day: Wake the hell up.Really, wake the hell up. Now. I understand that most of you have 9-to-5 jobs, that you leave tired and come home tired and just wanna chill in front of Sports Center with a bowl of chips. But, seriously, you have no remote idea: Being a stay-at-home parent is exhausting. At the office, you can hide. You can take lunch. You can pretend you're working while scrolling the Internet for Yankees-Blue Jays and, ahem, Lindsay Lohan news. You have genuine social interactions with folks over the age of, oh, 12. People ask questions about your day -- and listen to the answers.I envy you, but I sort of pity you.

Kids grow. Age 1 turns to age 3, which turns to age 7, which turns to 15 and 18 and 21, all in the blink of an eye. If you're there, as I am, it flies. If you're not there -- if you're almost never there -- it barely exists at all. Which is why I just can't stomach those millions of dads who view their days at home as recovery from work, who'd rather rest than engage, who have no problem with passing the tykes off for more alone time with mom and who, literally, moan to their wives, "You have no idea how hard I work."For you, I offer these 10 commandments of righteous fatherhood. Pay close attention, because, behind your back, people are pitying your wife:

1. No golf on weekends: Seriously, it's ludicrous. Your spouse is home with the kids all the time, and you think it's OK to take five hours on a weekend day to pursue your own pastime? Selfishness, thy name is Father.

2. Wake up: Literally, wake up. With your kids. On at least one of the two weekend days -- and perhaps both. I know: you wake up early for work. Not even remotely the same thing. Rising alongside the kiddies is hard. And crazy. And (gasp!) sorta fun, if you'd just stop moping.

3. Change diapers: If you have little kids, and you don't know how to change diapers (or, even worse, refuse to change diapers), you're pathetic. That's no exaggeration -- p-a-t-h-e-t-i-c. It's not all that hard, and though the poop sometimes winds up on the fingers, well, uh, yeah. It just does. Wash your hands.
4. Play with dolls and paint your toenails: How many fathers do I know who refuse to get girlish with their girls? Dozens. Dude, put aside the machismo, break out Barbie and slather on some pink polish. You'll make a friend for life -- and nobody else is watching.

5. Do things you don't want to do: It's easy to take the kids to the driving range -- because you want to be there. Now try spending the day having a tea party at American Girl. Or crawling through one of those wormholes at the nearby kiddie gym. Fun? Often, no. But this isn't about you.

6. Order the wife to bug off: I recently met a mother who told me her husband hadn't been alone with their 9-year-old daughter for more than two hours ... ever. Inexcusable. Let your wife do her own thing: relax, take a run, whatever. Entertain your children solo. They don't bite (Note: CNN.com is not liable if your children do, in fact, bite).

7. Surprise! Just once, on a random day without meaning or purpose, show up early at your kid's school/camp/wherever, say "Get in the car!" and take him/her somewhere special. Just the two of you, alone. A movie. A park. A hike. The memory lasts -- I promise.

8. Dishes Don't Clean Themselves (Nor Do Toys): It's amazing how this one works. You pick up a dish, run it under hot water with some soap, rub it down with a towel and place it back on the shelf. Then repeat.

9. Wake up your kid: Not often. But if you want to score big points and create a killer memory moment, walk in Junior's room at, oh, midnight, wake him/her up and go outside for 10 minutes to watch the stars.

10. For God's sake, tell your kids you love them: They never see you, and they'd probably like to know.

Bud, as you read this your wife is expecting little -- and your kids are expecting even less. Pull one out of the blue. Make Father's Day less about you, and all about them.

7 months!

12:05 PM
7 months!

What you are doing this month:
You are pulling yourself up on everything!
including standing in your crib, its crazy!
You are obsessed with the laptop, I can hardly type a thing with out you banding on the keyboard!
You crawl..alot..backwards. You dont go forward, & get REALLY angry when you dont!
You still love bathtime, we almost always do it together & I love that.
You are eating all sorts of things, & I love being able to make it for you!
You hold you bottle just about all the time now, you have been since around 3 months but only for short periods of time, now you do it your whole feeding!
If you love walking holding on to mommas hands, its crazy that you have the coordination down!
Just today, I let go & you stood by yourself for like 5 seconds!
You love your pool, I thought you would since you love your bath, but even when its cold you won't care
You are still about 98% TV free, I let you watch a occasional disney movie while I get ready for sessions 

You also are really into other children, you will watch them forever
You reach for me now if in other peoples arms {LOVE}
You vocab consists of: ma-ma, ba-ba, & da-da
You still are drolling 24/7 & have yet to have a tooth emerge, UGH
You now all most completely in your crib :(
You go in your room at around 730 for bed, come into ours at 5 & wake up for the day around 8..930-10 if I let you!
{going to do a post on co-sleeping transition, the stats are true so easy to do when you have co-slept}
You are VERY into toys, you sit & play with them all day!

We love you very much bug!
We have loved these past 7 months!


10:22 PM

I saw this link up on Yorlee's Momma's blog & wanted to link up
A) because even though I probally had the hardest pregnancy known to man, I LOVED IT
C) why am I not pregnant right now? UGH.
D) inspiration slash hope. we can do this. God can send another miracle our way anyday now :)

I have so many I love but here are some fun ones.

this was just 3 days before I had Kennedy! :)

this is my favorite of my maternity! :)

PS I more heartfelt post will be coming, I litterly am up to my ears with editing & having sessions & weddings! my camera has been glued to my hand! 

the life of an infertile

9:21 AM
I thought this would give my IF girls a laugh, well & just anyone.
It's BDing time over here at our household
Now imagine:
ok don't imagine
But briefly think
I am laying there, hips elevated with my legs up in the air
{no I am not positive this does anything, but it can't hurt right?}
& I am seriously thirsty
I am brinking parch-ness
so I am trying to talk the hubs into going downstairs for me
because honestly, I was just too lazy to do it myself
mr sleepy pants wanted to go to bed
I was coming up with reasons
I was not going to get up
I was determined
"i will love you forever"
my legs are still in the
"i will take out the trash for a week *totally fibbing here"
then it came to me
"i am trying to get pregnant here, the least you could do is get me a glass of water"
my mouth was then moist :)

So all you TTC ladies, be sure to try this one
turns out TTC does have a few perks ;)

oh no!

8:38 PM
I havent asked for a vote in ages!
& top baby blogs reset their numbers!
I would love to get back up where you had me before!
If you could just take two clicks for a second & vote
I would appreciate it! :)
Help Our Rank & Visit Top Baby Blogs, Baby Blog Directory!


3:33 PM
I have yet to freakin take Kennedys 6 month pictures
so I took two yesterday
& thought I would share!
I will post the rest when I take them :)
& this will double as 
The Paper Mama

heaven is for real.

12:56 PM

I am writing with some what of a heavy heart.
By a good friend I was told to read "Heave is For Real." by Todd Burpo
like probably many of you I had heard of it, but something was holding me back from reading it
I can't tell you why, I am the BIGGEST reader. 
But I couldn't bring myself to pick up the book.
Christy came over yesterday for a play date & told me to just read this one chapter
"Two Sisters"
{I ended up reading the whole book in 2 hours this morning}
The book is about a 3 year old that had a brush with death that tell of his trip to  heaven
giving vivid descriptions of things & even telling his father & mother what they were doing doing his surgery that there is no way he could of known
the chapter starts with the little boy coming up to his mom in the kitchen saying he has two sisters
his mother tell him he has one & must be getting confused with his cousin
& corrects her saying he has two, & one died her belly
they had never spoke of the miscarriage to him
he described her as looking like his sister but skinner & had brown hair
which would make her the hold one of the siblings looking like the mother
then the mother asked
"what was her name"

he replied
"she didn't have a name, you didn't name her."

Though you may not believe this book or not
it first gave me hope that I will see both my angel babies again
{he says that his sister says she can't wait to meet her mom & dad}

& secondly
I stopped & sobbed
I have never named my babies
how could I right? I didn't know the gender.
my first with my D&C one minute your pregnant, then 15-25 mins later your not
the second you slowly lose your baby
I thought of gender all the time, & a name while pregnant
but after I never thought about names.

But I want to.
I want to pray about it
& hopefully get some feeling or something; i really don't know what I am looking for
or even what I will say in my prayer about my babies
but I want to name my babies.
& I can't wait to report back with what we decided!

To anyone who has angel babies, or lost a close family member
Christian,Catholic,Atheist even
I really recommend this book.

wee bit of me

8:31 PM

{one} how many times have you been a bridesmaid/maid of honor?
Twice as a maid of honor!

{two} what’s the last thing your do before you fall asleep at night?
um, I am usually getting my back rubbed by my hubby :)

{three} you just won your dream vacation, all expenses paid. where are you going?
oh gee I don't know!
Australia I think!

{four} what is your favorite outdoor activity?
Camping! love love love!

{five} as a child, what did you want to “be when you grew up”? did you end up there?
a momma & sunday school teacher
I got one of two going ;)

{six} what are 3 things your dream home would have that you don’t currently have?
huuuge kitchen with a range, pool & fenced in backyard
our yard is giiiiiiiiiiiinormous & fencing it would be soo expensive

{seven} what’s for dinner tonight?
hot doggies on the grill,coney sauce, macaroni salad :)

{eight} if someone stopped by your house unannounced on a typical Saturday night, what would they find you doing?
 playing with my bug, watching a movie with my hubby & probally editing

{nine} what’s your average monthly water bill?
I couldn't tell you, hubs does the bills

{ten} what do you do to relax?
hold my baby :)
either one ;)

wordless wednesday

1:44 AM

Disney World With A Infant

3:38 PM
As soon as we walked in to the park
our diaper bag was checked &; the man told me
make sure you check out the baby care center to the left of the castle
& I made mental note & off I went

I wasn't sure what all I could actually do that involved Kennedy but hey it was DISNEY WORLD
we would make the best of it!
First stop was a character "daisy duck" 
not only did she write how cute my baby was, she took the time for Kennedy to feel her mouth & fur ect.
I was amazed that there was 100 people behind us & she took more time then just to snap a picture & sign an autograph

Next we started walking & saw Ariel! Now Kennedy was sleeping, but my niece who just turned 4 was not.
This doesn't have anything to with do with an infant but I really want to touch on how going to Disney is for a family vacation for ALL ages, & I know some of my followers have older children.
She was a bit shy/grumpy. 
This women took so much time with EACH child. she was talking with my niece trying to get her to open up, asking if she could she Flounder in the pond ect. 
I am amazed on how the characters acted with the children 
I guess I didnt remember from when I was younger.

Also touching on the staff, you get buttons when you walk in 
they say things like "1st visit" "Happy Anniversary" "Its my Birthday" ect
& whenever I saw someone with a button that past a worker
even if they were sweeping the street I would hear "Happy Anniversary"
so awesome.
Side Tip #1:
If going during summer months, utilize the small fountains around to cool off! 

Next was our first ride!
We rode the Magic Carpet
&aKennedy could ride!
Right on my lap!
I didn't think she would really be able to ride anything
but she could ride all rides but the real rollercoasters, in my lap!
Note to infant moms thinking about planning a Disney Vacation there are SEVERAL rides that are indoor, that you sit & travel thru looking at things, as well as shows that are very exciting for parents & baby to sit & enjoy themselves {ex. pirates of the caribbean, snow white, small world ect.}

Around 4 Kennedy got fussy because she wanted to nap
& I was HOT
So I remembered what the nice man had mentioned at the gate
& let the rest of the family go on a "big" roller coaster
&went to the Baby Care Center
They have two private nursing rooms with rocking chairs for BF mommas
& chairs out in the playroom for us bottle feeding mommas
they have highchairs which I utilized to feed Kennedy
& a TV for the slightly older kids to watch & eat a snack
speaking of feedings & snacks
they have formula,snacks,nipples,bottles,water,sun screen ALL on hand if you need them
as well as 5 changing tables in the next room & a uni-sex bathroom
you can use the kitchen that has a sink, & microwave
Kennedy got to nap &; ate while I got to cool off in one place with out a million people
it was honestly awesome.

inside baby care center

Helpful Info:
Investing in a stroller fan is something you should consider!


One thing I will say though, as accommodating as they are for babies
one thing that burned my biscuits was not being able to bring your stroller really anywhere!
I forgot my carrier &; had to hold her thru 45 min lines which was no fun for me or her!

Which does bring me to Universal Studios which has a thing called child swap.
You can wait in line the whole 45 mins while dad,momma or grandma is waiting in this section.
Once you go on the ride, you can go & watch baby or take baby on the ride although universal only had one baby friendly ride I could find which was the carousel!
{update in 2015, disney has a child swap now!!} 

What I am trying to get to is
If you are thinking of a vacation & thought Disney maybe no right for your family because your baby is too young. You may want to think again.
& hey they are free right now ;)
Though expensive they really do treat you amazing & give you the "dream" experience no matter what age :)

Next up: Flying with an Infant!