I wanted to share a struggle that has been on my heart as of late; & how I am overcoming it.
Its a hard thing for me to share but,
I want to share because I feel like someone else maybe going thru the same thing

Sometimes when I read other blogs, read others' facebooks or twitter I can feel "not good enough" 
Mostly with the way I look, & what I am doing as of late.

No, I am not going on a rant of how I think I'm fat ect.
But to say I let myself go is kinda a understatement, body image aside.

Yes about 2 days out of the week I get dressed in my cute clothes; & sure to my benefit I need more clothes that fit for this weather with this bump strapped to my torso.
But I look at these moms; & am like holy cow, ya'll look great. Outfits always so perfectly together.
 As I brush off my yoga pants with dried on cheerios, mix matched socks & hair ALWAYS up.
it got to the point where I was SUPER down on myself.
I didn't even want myself in pictures. 

I see them doing parenting COMPLETELY different than me, & you start to second guess yourself. 
Am I  doing this right, are they going to turn around & be those kids that hate me ect.
You know THOSE kids.

With  my business, I have recently been completely pulled, shoved, twisted & drowned in puddle of mud with people that I thought had grown up from things of highschool. But I was completely wrong, & I was brutally attacked with nasty emails from FIVE people from ONE client that had changed her mind about her photos a MONTH later. It seriously took me down to such a low of low. Photography is my thing. The one thing outside of being a momma that is ALL me. Its what I am good at. & about the only thing I am. & to be told I wasn't. A joke even? The worst thing for me.  I was so belittled & called things I havent even heard come out of a grown persons mouth since I was in highschool.

I remember just a few years ago & all thru school I turned into the people around me; I had my twist on it but I was the person I hung around. I molded to it.

I wouldn't say I was a follower, but I changed different aspects of who I was.

But since  becoming a mom. I live for my daughter. Well & husband. 
& I am me.
Truly 100% me.

Who is that?

& that is a momma who doesn't always dress up everyday, that has her hair in a bun 99.9% of the time. That does parenting different than alot of people. That YES wants to be with her daughter ALL the time, & if you have a problem with that, DON'T hang around us. That is kinda sorta obsessed with all things labor/delivery. That is a photographer, a good photographer {phew that felt good to say} that house isnt always tidy & perfect & photo off pintrest. 

I have lost so many friends, but also recently gained some in the past year by being ME. 

& it feels so good, to be me

Sure I have things I wanted to work on, like not having my hair in a bun all time, I am taking more pictures of kennedy with me in them & showing my face in my weekly belly pictures,doing sessions again &LOVING it, seriously don't know how I stopped, I am working on bringing down my glass of water everynight so I dont end up having a million on my nightstand; but I am only improving myself not compromising myself & it feels so good.

I need to work on myself continuously; because I want to be the BEST I can be for my daughter{s}.
Cause they, Brandon & ultimately myself deserve it.