Kennedy started walking EVERYWHERE.
like could not stop her!
Sunday she wasnt as into it, would walk & crawl combo!

We went out to eat for seafood, which wasn't even good; BOO!
& I missed a dose of meds for kennedy was she was beyond cranky so I ended up not even finishing..not that i wanted too. & took her out in the car & waited for Brandon
before we went out to eat!
i got breakfast in bed
& went over to my moms
{ i again want to say that I do not share my blog on my personal FB ect, if I know you in my personal everyday life, i am not only asking.. I am begging..& pleadingthat you not share what you read here today}
I have been having alot of pain in my abdomen.. & as of the last two days gotten really swollen, I showed my mom & she has noticed it too & we were thinking it maybe another cyst..a  really big one; or a big one that has burst. There was no way I was pregnant, I stopped clomid 2 cycles ago.. & AF was here on August 13th I did test after just because i felt SO nauseous but that ended up being the flu that Brandon also go as well, it was negative {digital}/
I needed to get to the dr asap, because something just wasn't right.

well, we decided to go to walmart & pick up a test. I said i really didn't want to...there was no point..I didn't want another negative, even though we weren't even trying..

first two were during the evening of yesterday.. the second with the tiniest sample. & the last from this morning!
go on..freak out.. I AM!
god works in SUCH mysterious ways!
August was the last month to try I have a post I was going to post this week about the end of this journey.
I stopped charting..we stopped trying
we actually were looking into adoption which was part of that post.
the only people that know are Brandon, Kennedy & my parents only because I am going to need them for support if anything goes wrong, a friend & now all of you.
We are not telling anyone til 20 weeks in fear of miscarriage or early delivery due to my incompetent cervix.
But i wanted to write down my thoughts, document this; & ultimately... get support. I am trying so hard to stay positive; but this could turn out bad...really bad. & the blogger community is great & i hope in any way this miracle of a pregnancy takes us; I know yall will be here to support!

Here is what is going down
-waiting for the dr to call me back as I type to get my BETA done TODAY.
-ultra sound, possible progesterone shots again  to help me no miscarry like first 2 pregnancies {i only had one with kennedy}
-find out why the crap my line is so dark this early...was my last AF a fluke? or twins?
-talk about cerclage & our options
-wait for BETA results, then have follow up in 48 hrs to see if numbers are rising!

what a birthday present right?
prayers, & encouragement is needed & wanted!