Im sitting here in the dark, with the just light from the fireplace.
There's dishes in the sink. The kitchen table has salt all over it, because while I was tending to Kennedy; Kensley got up on the chair & emptied the whole shaker for her amusement.
And Dinner is still in serving dishes on the table.
My patience is on E.
I want the biggest glass of wine & for my husband to give me a hug.
 I put both girls to bed with out saying a word to bed time stall tactics, kisses & hugs & a "I love you" & now they are snug in their Christmas jammies in their bed.

Earlier, the TV was off from after having dinner. We sat by the fire & colored the candy corn coloring pages I made for them. I was taking everything in.

Kennedy decided we needed to read books, as she often does.
 She knows we have "school" tomorrow & no doubt we will need another mountain of fresh books.

We have Thanksgiving books this week. All the good ones are always gone near the holiday, so you have to get them early. Holiday knowledge prep, of course.

I look around, looking at everything.
Looking at my life, right now.
Every single thing.

I smile.
& I want to hold on to it forever.
Kensley little fingers. The way she smells her bunny blanket.
The left over mac & cheese on her sleeve.
 Kennedy lost in books, always,always. & Amara never leaving her side.
"look at your life" I keep saying to myself.
It has been a tough week.
A real tough week.
& my eyes start to well up with tears for the umpteenth time this week
& then my girl asks me to read her a story.

We need days & moments like this.
We come down with "mommy amnesia" sit back, stop for just a second & smile.
We need those moments that make us forget that we now need a new salt shaker, & that for whatever reason your toddler pooped her pants for the second time today.
Those are moments that make it all worth it.
God gives us those.