I have to get this off my chest.

 It pains my soul to see people not thinking they can be proud, happy, beautiful because of their body. Can you imagine not feeling those things because of what you look like? Then to be feed that you can't feel that way by companies that are literally making money off your insecurities. They hide behind their "inspiration" thru their marketing. They actually teach these people to give you, especially us mommas,stories that we can relate to, so without saying it make us think that we can't be proud, & beautiful unless we are fit & thin. 

I bought into it too, until one morning. I got up & Kennedy said "Wow Momma, You look beautiful." It was right after I had glanced at my phone at said "inspiration" & said "Oh no, I look fat." I clench my fat & said "look EW" She put her head down. Took her tummy pinched it & said "oh yeah me not beautiful e-der I fat too" My heart sank. She knew nothing of fat. Until I told her. 

 What if we changed? If we didn't keep seeing these "stories" of how we are to feel awful because of this skin hanging, or how they felt so awful because of extra weight, we wouldn't know we were supposed to too.  How much more happier we could be, being thin.

 Would I like to have smaller arms? Slimmer legs? Sure. But you know what? I live a BEAUTIFUL life. This body GREW & BIRTHED two children. It held even more life though the time was short. I am SO proud of the person I am. I work hard every day to be the person I want to be. The person I want people to remember. & what I don't want, is that people remember me for being fit & thin or bigger & chunky. 

I've spent my time feeling bad over a missed workout. Feeling bad after indulging in a ice cream sundae with my children. Of feeling bad that I wasn't in a bikini at the pool.  & guess what. I wasn't happy. Finally toning up my stomach & arms & losing those pounds didn't make me a better person, wife or mom. Sure it made the superficial me easier to look better in clothes. But is that really what make you happy? Is some SKIN, keeping you from feeling bad about yourself? Heavens I hope not.

I love myself more at the bigger weight than I ever did at my smallest. I AM the mom that is running around the pool in the tankini not worrying about a string coming undone, or something "falling out" I AM the mom that is eating ice cream with her kids after having a big meal that my family had laughs over & conversation. I AM the mom that is comfortable in my skin actually showing my children what I have been telling them their whole lives: That the outside is not what matters, it is who you are that does.

 I pray to God that my girls, when they are wives & mothers don't have feel this pressure.  I want to be able to tell them when that time comes, that like they tell me everyday; they are beautiful & wonderful, & them believe it. That those weeks, months or years after having their babies, they are as beautiful as they were before their soft middle. That who you are in the inside has nothing to do with this outwardly shell. Some shells are thin, some are soft. But what's on the inside is what counts. & no wrap, drink, pill or shake is going to give that you, ever. 

PLEASE love yourself. Don't let your body make you feel anything negative, or positive for that matter about yourself. Love YOU for YOU, big or small.

& I promise this "inspiration" if that is what it did for you, came from my heart. I am making no money or going up a level for sharing my true, unprompted, unscripted story with you :)